The Hobbit: Battle Of The Five Armies

The finale to to the Middle Earth saga may not rise up to purge the bad taste left in some fans mouths after the first two Hobbit movies but still manages to recapture some of the original trilogies magic if not a little too late.

Spoilers and shizz...

Leading off immediately from where the Desolation Of Smaug left us we see the Haughty dragon laying waste to Lake Town with only Luke Evans' Bard the Bowman to stop him. Though it's an incredibly short sequence (about ten minutes to be exact) it stands out as one of the most memorable scenes in the movie and captures one of the stories main themes that the unassuming are capable of greater things than thought possible. Not to take anything away from Bard, he's pretty handy with a bow and is a great leader but I wouldn't exactly call it a fair fight, think Mother Teresa fighting off Zeus or something.

Returning to our heroes however, Thorin Oakenshield (Armitage) and his company have recaptured the lonely mountain and it's from the gold littered halls the battle of the five armies all kicks off. Bilbo Baggins, the circumspect protagonist of the story begins to worry about the movies main focus, Thorin, the dwarf prince now finally retaking his homeland is overcome with horrific greed which sends him spiraling into a Gollum inspired madness with a voice eerily reminiscent of the dragon, Smaug.

The strained relationship between the patient Bilbo and abrasive Thorin stands out as one of the films greater moments, Armitage and Freeman share a natural chemistry and even wrapped up inside the fantastical nature of the plot, it's in both of these character we find the most humanity, balancing on both ends of the scale. Though the film is mainly composed of one very long (maybe a little too long) battle of the titular five armies of middle earth, there are undercurrents of sub plots that occasionally draw reference to the original trilogy and finally feel like they belong as opposed to Jacksons' usual shoehorning, yet other plots don't really get resolved and it's all down to the two main gripes with the film.

First off the extended cameo of fan favourite Legolas (Bloom) actually fits and at times even makes you question whether the inclusion of him would have improved the novel (perhaps not but y'know...) Lee pace returns again as king of the wood elves and Legolas' father, Thranduil in a part he plays majestically. Through his speech and demeanor to the cast around him he moves with a grace a warrior should not possess but he makes riding an elk look pretty badass. Time shared between the two gives up some character development behind Legolas that though isn't necessarily needed, it does cement his place in this story all the more.

I love Ian Mckellan, he's fantastic in everything he's in and I'd be happy seeing him play anything, he could play the shark from Jaws and I'd still enjoy it, his role as Gandalf however is drastically cut short in this film however to make room for a forced love triangle between one of the dwarves and new character, Tauriel the elf (Lilly) which is brought down by lackluster and paint by numbers dialogue, I can say this with great confidence as any time a scene arose with the pair of them a groan could be heard all around me in the cinema.

That and this bastard taking up far too much screen time to use the same retired joke at least eight times in the movie.

Though the Battle Of The Five Armies has plenty to go around and an over abundance of CGI aside, captures some of the magic of the battle of Minas Tirith from the Two Towers, Billy Connoly provides some genuine comic relief as the rowdy Dain Ironfoot and the battle between the council of Elrond and the weakened Sauron keeps the pace going even though the story seems to be a little stretched once again.

Speaking of the themes of the movie, While Bilbo would have normally been the narratives focus, instead he's somewhat sidelined so Thorin can take center stage, and as the themes of greed and redemption are personified through his actions it's incredible to watch Armitage organically transition between the two which are made all the more powerful by his final confrontation with the white orc Azog.

I could absolutely go on throwing around the pro's and cons of this movie for pages but like Jackson's final endeavor to Tolkein's master piece I'll end this somewhat cleaner.

Though not all of the die hard Lord Of The Rings fans will enjoy this it still stands as an all around good movie, ending on a familiar scene fans may recognise with the panoramic shots of New Zealand and the soft sounds of Howard Shore's Shire theme, The middle earth saga ends as a story worth telling.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1

Not so happy Hunger Games everybody.

The penultimate chapter of a four movie series based on a three part book series for young adults proves to be most harrowing yet, Katniss becomes an unwilling symbol in a war between the capitol and the remaining districts yet her head seems more focused on saving her friend Peeta.

Spoilers if you haven't seen/read this yet.

Jennifer Lawrence returns in the role that arguably kick started her main stream career as Katniss Everdeen, two time survivor of the vicious hunger games and all around downer. Living in an underground resistance base after being saved at the end of the quarter quell, here she is introduced to the rebel leader, President Alma Coin (Julianne Moore), a no nonsense manipulator who seems disinterested with her associate, Plutarch Heavensbee's (the penultimate role of the late Philip Seymour Hoffman) plan to film a propaganda film to stoke the fire underneath the already burgeoning hatred each district has for the capitol.

Despite its target audience the thing that struck me most about Mockingjay is it's somewhat realistic and gritty interpretation of guerrilla warfare, a crew of film makers including Game Of Thrones' Natalie Dormer, are tasked with following Katniss as she visits the remaining districts in secret to put together a propaganda film that will give the oppressed masses a call to arms against the capitol. Lawrence manages to give some weight to her characters reaction to the carcass of her old home and the numerous war casualties, a particular scene involving her losing her stoic demeanor as the result of a makeshift hospital being bombed is perhaps the highlight of the film as it is in this moment she truly becomes the 'mockingjay' and the revolution commences.

Though no good story is without its villain, Donald Sutherland relishes in his role as the suave manipulative President Snow. Playing a psychological chess game with Katniss throughout, he seems to trump her at each turn and uses his greatest weapon, the previously captured Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) as a bargaining chip to break her resolve. In all honesty there is very little action in comparison to the first two films but manages to somewhat make up for it with scenes reminiscent of the blitzkrieg from WWII and urban warfare from the violence in the east. You have to respect the stories aim to bring awareness to modern atrocities to its demographic.

Unpopular opinion time but with it's realistic portrayal of war (that gripping first person view of the SWAT infiltration) it's somewhat undermined by the forced love triangle between Katniss, Peeta and her old friend Gale (Liam Hemsworth/baby Thor.) Yes Katniss is a reluctant symbol for the revolution but it is implied her purpose is realised after the hospital bombing and she would become a self sacrificing and resilient force for good, so why is it the love triangle seems like a bigger deal to her? Katniss is a strong and independent role model but between choosing to save Peeta or fighting a greater injustice they had the chance to really show a heroic side to the character yet waded a little too deep into teenage drama, Like I said unpopular opinion but I stand by it.

As I mentioned earlier however the imagery only somewhat keeps you involved but at just over two hours long and the narrative stretched to fit two movies, Mockingjay at times feels a little bloated and unnecessary, naturally this is only my opinion and many fans would combat me on this point but I can't help feeling that the trend of splitting books into multiple films is nothing more than a money grab to extend a franchises longevity. I'm looking at you Peter Jackson.

All in all it's a good setup for the final outing but Mockingjay suffers from its run time and distinct lack of lasting content, I loved Catching Fire however so maybe I'm just expecting a little more from the series. As blockbusters go, Mockingjay is still worth seeing for all audiences.

It's going to kill me if Hoffman's last movie isn't great...

Gone Girl

A beautifully portrayed story of the marital spat from hell, just to let you know there are going to be SPOILERS from here-out so trust me when I'm telling you to go see it before you read this, if you'd like to come back and read when you're done that'd be great!

David Fincher, director of classics such as Fight Club and Seven once again plays with your brain like a marionette, Gone Girl is a psychological mystery movie that not only makes you question the conventions of the world around you but the world according to your own mind. Our protagonist and antagonist (really it switches so much it's just easier not saying who's who) Nick and Amy Dunne are two former writers who have had to relocate from New York to Missouri due to the recession and the degrading health of Nick's mother. Told in both internal and external flashbacks we see the rise and fall of the Dunne families marriage, both are introduced as witty, likable and an instant and believable chemistry that lays testament to Affleck and Pikes acting abilities.

Flash back to the present and we see a changed couple, Nick has become distant and cheating partner with a much younger woman whereas as Amy is portrayed as a beaten wife losing faith in even trying to salvage her marriage, all this is shown after the main driving force of the story. As Nick returns home the house shows signs of a break in and Amy appears to be kidnapped.

Nick is quizzed by the intuitive Detective Boney, a character that features as a heavy contrast to her partner, a bigoted cop who just see's things as they are which later on mirrors your own perceptions of domestic abuse, More on that later though. Naturally you try to figure out her disappearance from the get go and your assumptions are fueled by any evidence dug up by Boney and her partner or through the interactions between Nick and his twin sister Margo, a bar owner who seems to serve both as Nicks conscience and our insight into the real Nick.

I'll be honest and admit I suspected Nick as the killer due to some scenes of domestic violence and fairly harsh narrative on his part, it lured me in and just made me appreciate the reveal all that more. Rosamund Pike deserves her Oscar nomination. Amy is described as incredibly intelligent and a little standoffish right from the start but even this was downplayed. Very reminiscent of Sharon stone in Basic Instinct and Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, Pike joins the great halls of psychotic spurned lovers, framing Nick for everything and leading him into state execution, Amy Dunne will terrify you in her soft spoken tone and remorseless actions.

Plagued by the media circus led by Amy's disappearance and the news' yo-yo portrayal of him as a good husband/uncaring sociopath/anti-Christ, Nick attempts to track down the other former partners in Amy's past, a rapist and a stalker. As it turns out one of these is not like the other and the man accused of raping her was framed by an angry Amy for not liking the ties she bought him, in retaliation she maims herself and plays off peoples perception of her as a helpless little woman, a trope again portrayed later as a room full of FBI agents and Boney all fall head over heels for her and treat like the precious thing she is, all except Boney who begins to see the psychotic Amy as a wolf in sheep's clothing.

The film raises themes from the forefront, the corruption of modern media and the see want you want to see style of journalism we see on a daily basis. Tyler Perry plays a somewhat shameless Lawyer who teaches Nick ways of presenting himself on camera to win over the general public, everything is calculated and reiterates the false apologies you see from celebrities and politicians.

What I found most interesting was the portrayal of domestic abuse on both partners behalf, statistically men are the more abusive gender when it comes to relationships but it doesn't for a second mean that women can't be abusive either. While Amy never really harms Nick physically she psychologically tortures him like a maestro, reducing the big strong man to a nervous wreck who stays awake at night behind a locked door in fear his wife will destroy him.

Dark, twisted and above all thought provoking, Gone Girl is a fantastic adaptation of Gillian Flynn novel of the same that cements Affleck's string of quality movies and hopefully springboards Rosamund Pike into more heavy hitting roles. Go see it already.

Guardians Of The Galaxy

Oh good Christ yes.

So I'll try not to fan boy too hard on this one but this was a fucking great movie, like being a kid and watching Star Wars again for the first time.

Marvels newest wild card seemed like a bold move 2 years ago when it was announced but may well be on it's way to becoming one of the studios freshest outings. Going against the grain of comic book movies having to be somewhat gritty and dark Guardians only takes itself serious for a split second at the start, from then on it revels in its own goofiness and unashamedly breaks the mold.

Beginning in the 80's a young Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) finds himself abducted by a group of space ravagers after a traumatic family experience, he becomes well versed in the goings on of the galaxy and only has a few mementos of his life on earth, most importantly a Sony Walkman and his 'awesome mix tape vol 1'. Quill is a charming yet crass man child known for more than a few run ins with the law and has dubbed himself 'Starlord', something he wishes would catch on more. He later steals the films macguffin, a mysterious silver orb the universe's heavy hitters all seem to be after in a scene very reminiscent of the first five minutes of Raiders Of The Lost Ark and after this the whole plot is thrust into mayhem. There is an incredible prison escape scene in which we are introduced to the other guardians before they're a team, the driven warrior Gamora (Zoe Saldana swapping blue for green) a hulking and revenge bent Drax The Destroyer (Dave Bautista) and the seriously odd couple Rocket Raccoon (Bradley Cooper) and Groot (Vin Diesel proving the same line throughout)

Director James Gunn realistically brings these offbeat characters together exceptionally and never making it feel forced, all the more credit in that these actors were having to act among 2 CGI characters. It's hard to say who steals the show however, Pratt is enigmatic and perfect as the relatable yet morally skewed Starlord, he's effortlessly charming and may well replace Robert Downey Jr as your favourite marvelite. Coming straight behind however is the pairing of Rocket and Groot, one is a crass talking Raccoon with a penchant for big guns and bursts of anger while his muscle/house plant is a Goliath like talking tree who can change shape, limited only to the words "I am Groot" Diesel still manages to convey different emotion between each uttering, you almost start understanding him. If you loved the macabre conversation between Han Solo and Chewbacca you'll be in your element here.

My only real gripe with the movie lies in its villains, you have three (potentially four but those are spoilers...) baddies who hold back the Guardians in one way or another, Lee Pace's zealot like Ronan The Accuser is visually dynamic but seems a little 2D, he's bent on destroying another race his planet is at war with for reasons that aren't really elaborated on too deeply. Doctor Who's Karen Gillan plays the cyborg adoptive sister of Gamora and does well to establish her as a sinister femme fatale with almost reptillian movements and at times a spurned angry child with the mother of all daddy issues, her on screen interactions with Gamora however are no way near enough so here's hoping we see an extension of this in the 2017 sequel.

Visually breathtaking and a soundtrack you'll be replaying to yourself for months to come, Marvel has no qualms with taking you into the unknown and bringing you out a believer. Believe the hype.

"You said it yourself bitch, we're the Guardians Of The Galaxy" the new kids on the block definitely give their earth dwelling cousins a run for their money. This film is the tits.
I read once that if The Avengers are The Beatles then these guys are The Rolling Stones.

Go see it already.

Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes

The sequel to 2011's Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes hits hard and may well be up there with some of the great sequels such as Empire Strikes Back and The Dark Knight.

Set roughly ten years after brainy chimp Caesar (Serkis doing what he does best) leads an ape uprising on San Francisco, he has started a family and rules over the now tribal Apes who all inhabit the Muir Woods. Caesar stands as the apes ruler while his friends you may not remember from the first film, stand as his confidants. Koba the heavily scarred bonobo chimp has a long standing resentment of the humans who probed and experimented on him acts as mentor to Caesars teenage son Blue Eyes. Maurice the orangutan takes charge of the young apes education and teaches them the rules of their new world, most importantly, 'Ape must not kill Ape.' you could say both Maurice and Koba each represent a half of Caesars conscience, with the heavy decisions that befall Caesar he is often seen hearing advice from each of his friends, Koba however tends not to be as forgiving.

Enter the eventual human side of the story, the out break of ALZ-113 virus meant to cure Alzheimer's instead wiped out 99% of the human population and has been dubbed 'Simian Flu' however there is a small band of survivors apparently immune to the virus residing in the dilapidated ruins of San Francisco. Having burnt through nearly all of their energy, Malcom (Jason Clarke) takes a small group through the woods in an attempt to restart a hydro-electric dam. Thus begins the uneasy downwards spiral of trust between the apes. Caesar recalling the memories of his old foster father is slowly easing into assisting the humans much to the dismay of Koba.

Interestingly enough the seamless CGI and grand storytelling of course paves way for more sequels, I found myself being fine with an entirely CGI movie, the relationships between the apes feels so foreign yet close all at once. Compelling visually and one of the best credits I can give the film is that you forget a lot of this is built up on a computer, you're taken into the world and accept it for what it is. There are less ham handed call backs to the original series, I didn't feel like a Charlton Heston quote would improve any of it, the only thing that was a bit of a callback was the soundtrack which genuinely works, nothing gritty or what we're used to getting lately, but the beating of tightly wound war drums gives an authentic tribal feel in a concrete jungle.

Naturally the human cast take the back seat and none of them really remain that memorable, even Gary Oldman, veteran actor and a man who surely has merited an academy award by now doesn't have too much to work with. The true praise deservedly goes to the motion capture team who brought the apes to life, convincing behaviour and movement yet strangely human in parts, Andy Serkis once again proves he's the king of motion capture but Toby Kebbel gives him a run for his money in this one. Kebbel plays the ally turned antagonist Koba, a character that quickly became one of my favourite villains of the decade, sure he looks frightening and you tense up a little when he moves around the human characters but he's at his most terrifying when the film portrays how intelligent they have really become. Violent, sadistic and meticulously cunning, Koba is an oddly sympathetic villain who carries the explosive third act where things literally go apeshit.

 A worthy entry into a saga of (mostly) classics, (looking at you Tim Burton). If you enjoy your big budget blockbusters with compelling storytelling this will probably tide you over long enough for the sequel.

The Fault In Our Stars

I'm going to be honest guys, romance and teen drama is usually not my thing but this adaptation of the critically acclaimed John Green novel tends to hit home compared to your usual run of the mill love story.

The Fault In Our Stars is grim, tragic and oddly beautiful. The story follows the lives of two star crossed lovers who connect through a shared affliction that most of us will face in one way or another in our lives, Cancer. Shailene Woodley stars as Hazel Grace, a teenager coping with terminal thyroid cancer and as such has to carry around an oxygen tank with her everywhere. Hazel begins the movie as cynical and rightfully depressed that her mother and doctor assures her is a side effect of cancer, she eloquently retorts that depression isn't a side effect of cancer, it's a side effect of dying. One of the many incredibly memorable lines present that really is pushing me in the direction of reading the book, I'm consistently told to. She at one point also refers to herself as a grenade as a way to dissuade anyone from getting close to her. Her condition leaves her unable to do much adventurous but sit around and watch day time television and read her favourite book, 'An Imperial Affliction' a story written the elusive Peter Van Houten (Willem Dafoe).

Her antithesis however takes the form of self assured and wildly optimistic Augustus Waters (Ansel Elgort) a cancer survivor who's operation to remove his osteosarcoma has sadly cost him one of his legs, rather than dwelling on it however he puts his best foot forward (pun intended) and begins to bring Hazel Grace out of her shell and even smile from time to time. He's hard not to like and everyone could use somebody like him from time to time, one thing that doesn't hold up on the big screen though is his habit with cigarettes. I'm told in the novel it's quite clever but he keeps a pack of cigarettes and will have an unlit one in his mouth, his reasoning is having something dangerous close to him but not giving it the power to kill him, It's a metaphor apparently, on screen it comes off a little pretentious sadly.

There is great chemistry between all cast members here, this is a love story and even though it involves some of the usual tropes you'll see in every other movie it's very human treatment of cancer is one of the more moving moments in the film, Hazel Grace's relationship with her woefully conflicted mother really reminds you that in a family it isn't just the person with cancer that suffers, behind closed doors loved ones will drop the brave faces and fall apart, Laura Dern (remember the paleobotanist in Jurassic Park? She digs in the triceratops crap?) is one of the films greatest players, and even at the characters weakest moments displays a plethora of heart and emotion.

An incredibly poignant scene mid way through involving the Anne Frank House has Hazel struggling to make her way up the steep stairs to the haunting yet empowering words of Anne Frank herself is something I came away fondly remembering. Much to the protest of Augustus who tells her she doesn't have to do it, she perseveres dragging her oxygen tank with her, a physical manifestation of the weight she's been carrying for years, she makes it to the top and reminds the audience of the raw determination of the human spirit, I think if you see any scene from the movie then find this one.

Screenwriters Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Webber do well with the source material and some of the lines that you'd imagine would only work in print flow seamlessly with a little help from the actors, I'm often told that John Green really understands the young mind but I'm a little hesitant with the statement. I rather believe that he just has a knack for understanding the human spirit and in a story rife with foreboding messages and inevitable misery he reminds you to live the life you've got while you have it. So yeah ladies and gents, not your every day love story.

Probably one for the ladies gents but for the softer among you bring a tissue or two.

X-Men: Days Of Future Past

Super powered mutants, evil robots, time travel and a whole lot of flares and sideburns going on you wouldn't expect Bryan Singers newest X-Men outing to be anything but groovy, I just wish that was the case.

The latest in one of the longest running comic book movie series going, Days Of Future Past shows our favourite team of exceptional youngsters not so fresh faced anymore. Initially beginning in a dystopian future where mutants and the majority of mankind are all but extinct, no thanks to Bolivar Trask (Peter Dinkalage-Game Of Thrones) an anti-mutant military scientist who created the Sentinel Program, giant morphing robots that seek out mutants to purge them from the earth. Singer begins the film with imagery reminiscent of a concentration camp, bodies being strewn around by machines and the disheveled living wandering through cages. This is where old Xavier (Patrick Stewart) and old Magneto (Sir Ian McKellen) hatch a plan to send Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) back in time to stop Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) from killing Trask and changing the future they reside in. It's a lot to take in this soon into the movie but just go with it, there's so much else that will aggravate you if you think too hard about it and the plot almost pleads with you just to enjoy the ride.

Wolverine must now bring together a haggard and somehow walking Young Xavier (James McAvoy) now powerless after Beast gives him a serum he can take that takes away his powers but lets him walk again. Apparently injections can heal a broken spine, it's pretty dumb. Also having to find the other side of the morality coin is an imprisoned young Magneto (Michael Fassbender) serving life sentences for the apparent murder of President John. F. Kennedy one of the films highlights stems from his rescue with the aide of the super speedy Quiksilver, It's very reminiscent of the opening scene to X2 but somehow the schoolboy style humor he brings keeps it well in your mind after the credits roll.

As much as the internet seems to be loving Jennifer Lawrence at the minute and her characters development from happy go lucky shy girl to conflicted revolutionary is second only to Xavier's transformation into the wise teacher he'll become, she seems to get an abnormal amount of screen time as apposed to some others who could have desperately used it. For instance Trask's motivation for wanting all the mutants isn't that compelling and he's nothing more than a face for the films villains. As much as I hate the casting of Halle Berry as Storm it wouldn't have hurt to see more of what the future mutants could do, Iceman uses his classic ice slide for a moment and fan favourite Blink fights using portals which I left thinking she had one of the more visually stunning powers.

The film flogs a lot of what you've seen before however, Mystiques eyes glowing yellow while she's transformed and the obligatory Wolverine popping the bullets out of his chest/slow unsheathing of the claws, at times it feels like ideas were running thin in the creative department and even some new things they tried are a little forced (Beast can apparently Hulk out now) Everything aside however the performances are usually convincing, McAvoy and Fassbender outdo their elders and seeing the younger versions of characters you're used to be so flawed and full of youthful rage is a refreshing change of pace.

In it's own right the film is perfectly adequate, an oft confusing plot but full of great dialogue and high octane action pieces will keep you hooked, despite this if you're a fan of the series the contradictions to the other films and lazy wink to the audience will leave you feeling deflated.

Godzilla

The eighth one

Spoilers

After sixteen years since his last big screen outing (or ten if you've seen the Japanese ones) the undisputed king of monsters is back to smash up iconic landmarks and have your inner nine year old squeal with glee. Dinosaurs are cool but nuclear dinosaurs top everything.

The premise of the film basically follows the life of Ford Brody (Aaron Taylor-Johnson. Kick ass) an explosive ordnance disposal technician and his family in two points of time. It initially begins in Japan where Ford's father Joe (Bryan 'Heisenberg' Cranston) an overworked nuclear power plant supervisor sends his wife and a team to look at the damages to the plants core. Disaster arrives on cue and after a huge explosion and the plant being quarantined we hurtle forward fifteen years to see Ford happy with a wife and son. All seems to being going well until he gets a call from Japan to go bail his now estranged father out of prison. The years have not been kind to Joe and his son only see's him getting lost in his conspiracy theories. You know whats bound to happen from here anyway, Joe's not so crazy and it gets a bit late to listen to him. There is one man who seems to have an almost prophetic knowledge of the giant monsters however, Ken Watanabe (Inception) plays Dr Serizawa (possibly an Easter egg from the nineteen fifty four movie) a scientist who works with Monarch, an organisation tracking a number of giant monsters for decades.

Despite a somewhat decent cast the human side of the monster story lacks tremendously, Taylor-Johnson and his on screen wife Elizabeth Olsen are almost a paint by numbers family and it will make you wince in horror. Hopefully it's just what they had to work with that is the problem and not their chemistry, otherwise Avengers 2: Age Of Ultron is going to have it's weak link. Aside from this the usually hard hitting actors are woefully underused, Cranston is as always a pleasure to watch and his trauma and outright frustration with shady government cover ups are one of the films highlights, and yet he's out of the film before the halfway mark. Watanabe also begins the film as a believable and mysterious character who devolves into a cliched mannequin who's sole function is to utter cryptic one liners and spout exposition no ordinary human would be able to arrive at, he unintentionally provides a few laughs however so I guess he has that going for him?

In this aspect it remains faithful to the Toho Studios films. Faithful in that around 85% of the film is comprised of lackluster human stories you sit through in anticipation for the real star of the movie. The build up is worth it and even after giving up a lot of screen time to the films villains (Giant monsters this time! Not the army for once.) Gojira's eventual debut is monumental, hats off to the art department because he looks incredible, and this version of the roar is both heroic and terrifying. He commands a presence and the sluggish but jarring shots he throws at the rival monsters are something you feel the force of, also his atomic breath is Awesome.

You weren't expecting an Oscar winner were you?
With all its faults and a tendency to drag every now and again Godzilla is a welcome return to the big screen and the lack of Matthew Broderick can only improve a movie. Look forward to the sequel, here's hoping for an appearance of this young lady. 

The Amazing Spider Man 2

Lucky number seven

If You weren't aware I will ruin things for you with this review so if you haven't seen it here's your warning, if you don't care too much anyway then press on you hardened powerhouse you.

Marc Webb's second outing for the upcoming 'spiderverse' may not actually be amazing, but when it's good it's pretty great.

Andrew Garfield has Spider-Man nailed now, he's quick with the quips and seeing him climb, swing across the New York skylines and pretty much doing whatever a spider can is visually stunning, Webb keeps you close and at times you really get a sense of what it's like to don the spandex. His Peter Parker however is a mixed bag, the happy go lucky and fun loving side is hard not to like, he oozes charisma especially alongside co-star Emma Stone as the chemistry between the two sparks. On the other hand the will they won't they couple often jackknife into overly angst ridden relationship babble you'd most likely read on a cringey Tumblr post. It's a little hard to watch at times.

Emma Stone brings a more human element to the whole ensemble, although she ends up a damsel in distress for the most part she gives as good as she gets to Peter, all the super powered hi-jinks rarely seems to unnerve her, any problems that arise she either charms her way through or beats it with great intelligence. If you're a comic book fan then what some of you assume will happen actually does and it. Is. Brutal. Webb absolutely nails one of the most iconic scenes of Spider-Man lore.

Not even Batman broke that badly...

The films main flaws sadly is with its villains, much like Spider-Man 3 it's main problem is that too many villains ends up cluttering the narrative and although at least two of the three bad guys have a good set up, they have little to no pay off, often being dealt with in less than a minute. There's really not much to say about Paul Giamatti's Rhino, a Russian mobster who chews the scenery like it's his last meal yet he's said in interviews this was his intention so I guess we can forgive him for that? 

A real shame that Oscar winning Jamie Foxx has so much talent to be wasted on a character with such little substance. He plays Maxwell Dillon, an electrical engineer for the dubious Oscorp industries, Max is meant to be a sympathetic loner style character but is a little too odd to really relate to or feel much for, his apparent isolation from everyone around him sets up his characters transition into an electrically charged super villain bent on destroying Spider-Man but as visually electrifying as he is (there's an excellent Times Square scene) the character just fizzles out into a disappointing end. 

I love puns.

If you have never seen the movie Chronicle I recommend you go see it first of all, but the creepy kid with super powers from that appears once again as a creepy kid with powers. Dane Dehaan plays the sometimes charming sometimes sociopath Harry Osborn returning to New York to take over Oscorp from his dying father Norman. We discover that Harry has also inherited the affliction that destroys his father and is desperate to get his hands on old friend Peter Parkers blood as he believes it's all that can save him. Dehaan is suitably creepy, his chemistry with Andrew Garfield feels genuine while they're still chummy but his eventual transformation into the Green Goblin (the change scene is great, the overall appearance however is more Billy Idol with gangrene) is a little rushed. I'm pretty sure he has only three minutes of screen time and although he makes Spidey struggle he's quickly dealt with. 

There is quite a nice set up for these guys though, at least a few of them.

Overall it has enough action beats to wake you out of some of the slow paced teen angst segments and disappointing sub plots (looking at you Parker parentals) an unforgettable third act and a hope filled ending gives it enough to warrant intrigue in Sony's 'spiderverse'

But lets be honest we'd prefer him in The Avengers right?

Muppets Most Wanted

Number 6

"We're doing a sequel, that's what we do in Hollywood, and everybody knows that the sequel's never quite as good" Flight Of The Conchords' Bret McKenzie writes in the opening track of the Muppets newest venture to the silver screen.

Despite it being true that Muppets Most Wanted feels watered down compared to the previous film, that shouldn't take anything away from this one, there's enough joy and humour to make the child and adult in you smile. The basic plot is that after the success of the first film the crew have no idea what to do now, in steps Ricky Gervais playing the superficially charming Dominic Badguy (pronounced bad-gee, it's french) and persuades the gang into doing a world tour much to the dismay of Kermit. SPOILERS though... it's all a clever ruse between Dominic and Constantine, the worlds most dangerous frog who looks exactly like Kermit apart from a villainous mole and a Borat esque accent. Together they hatch a notorious plot to rob the crown jewels which takes them all across Europe with stereotypical hi-jinks along the way.

While this is a Muppet movie it's still nice to see a human element present here, actors playing such caricatured individuals they'd be Muppets themselves if they were made from felt. A personal favourite of mine is Ty Burrel playing French Interpol inspector Jean Pierre Napoleon, a somewhat lazy and inspector Clouseau style partner to Sam Eagle who now works for the CIA. Both are hapless and on the hunt for Constantine and their back and forth is without a doubt the highlight of the movie, it's made all the more funny that Ty Burrel genuinely looks like Sam the Eagle.

Tina Fey also stars as the tough as nails Gulag prison guard Nadya. She rules the Gulag with an iron fist and constantly thwarts a certain green frogs attempts to escape after he is framed through the clever use of green paint and an extra sticky mole. It really isn't easy being green sometimes. It's within these prison scenes we also see a personal highlight of mine and that's Jermaine Clement (the other half of Flight Of The Conchords) along with Danny Trejo (Machete!) Ray Liotta (Goodfellas) and WWE's very own Hornswoggle. These high security prisoners all begin learning a routine for the annual prison talent show, apparently it's that or they riot and Kermit calls on his past experience with the Muppets to whip these cliche tough guys into shape.

We all came to see this for the Muppets however and sadly not all of them get their time to shine, of course Miss Piggy takes center stage throughout most of it in a sub-plot involving her desire to be wed to her beloved Kermie which didn't really pay off in any way. Fozzie, Animal and Walter (remember Jason Segel's little brother from the first one?) gradually crack through the arrogant Constantine's disguise and travel to find the real Kermit as for some reason he's the only frog who can stop him. Really though would it have been too much to ask for more Rowlf the Dog? He is the king of deadpan.

Bret McKenzie does another great job peppering the story with catchy songs you'll be humming to yourself for the rest of the day but none really reach levels of Life's A Happy Song or others from the previous movie, you can legitimately here a Flight Of The Conchords song in a later number however so that was a little bonus.

Slapstick laughs, witty one liners and more songs and cameo's you can shake a rubber chicken at, this one appeals to all audiences. While it's having a hard time getting out of the shadow of it's predecessor Muppets Most Wanted is a great little show to while away the hours.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

The fifth one

I'll try to resist any America puns I can.
Probably going to be spoilers.

Marvels star spangled hero returns (I tried.) for his latest venture and we see a post battle of New York Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) struggling to place himself in modern day Washington DC. Splitting his down time between taking thirteen mile jogs around the Washington Monument and doing undercover stealth missions against Algerian pirates, he's torn up about his current fate and as a familiar face tells him 'he can't go back to that time'. This film changes the game a little and at times feels more like a political thriller than your average comic book movie, at least until the third act The Winter Solider is more spy vs spy just with extraordinary people in it.

Evans has found his Steve Rogers. What sets him apart from the other members of his team is that at heart he's a genuinely good guy among the good guys, sadly for him he's a man lost in time and struggling to come to grips with the modern way of warfare. He was never happy with what he had to do in the forties but as he puts it to Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) and his controversial project Insight, "This isn't freedom, it's fear." There's an endearing innocence about Steve compared to his morally grey team mates.

Most recognizable would be Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow, self assured and flirtatious all the while proving that the super hero business isn't just left up to the guys. Full of witty comebacks and all said with a wry smile, Johansson is having fun with it and yet at times there are allusions to her dark history that was mentioned in The Avengers, it's at these points Johansson shows her range and happily steps away from being a one trick pony.

Thankfully compared to Iron Man 3 and Thor: The Dark World the comedy doesn't seem shoehorned in or takes away any seriousness from a situation, newcomer Antony Mackie stars as The Falcon, an ex para-trooper with a flight harness you can't help but want to try out, visually it looks incredible while he weaves in and out of explosions and cannon fire and really steals the majority of scenes he's in. Hopefully we'll see him in the sequel or the next Avengers because the guy brings humor whenever it's needed.

Our seasoned veterans in the film come to clash quite often and their chemistry is somewhat lacking. Samuel L. Jackson breathes charisma as S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nick Fury and often comes to clash with Cap himself an how things should be handled, but when he butts heads with world security council member Alexander Pierce (spy movie veteran Robert Redford) the connection doesn't seem as fierce. Both of them actively stand out in the ensemble and by themselves thoroughly convince you but it seemed Redford was just coasting off what felt familiar to him and didn't try much new.

Last but not least and my favourite part as a comic book fan is the films title villain, The Winter Soldier (Sebastian Stan). So anyway spoilers he's secretly Bucky Barnes from the first movie. Captain America's best friend. Fell off the train? I honestly wish they'd made his apparent death more momentous in the first movie because although it's alluded to near the start of the film the reveal that he is the brainwashed villain lacks a little. That doesn't change the fact though that he's the perfect match for Captain America, equally as fast, skilled and strong (a robotic arm will do that to you) as his old friend but fights in a much more brutal manner. Paying no heed to collateral damage and even putting fear into someone as skilled as Black Widow you know he's a big hitter. Stan shows his range between slowly regaining memories lost for 70 years to uncontrollable rage as the memories come back whilst fighting his former friend, it's the first marvel villain since Loki that's had such an impact on the lead characters and the audience themselves, something the past few films have lacked monstrously.

All in all you know what you're in for here, classic action with witty repertoire between provocative characters with all the classic cameo's, Easter eggs and an epic post credits scene that I don't feel at liberty (geddit?) to talk about. Go see it already.

300: Rise Of An Empire

Review numero quatro!

The unnecessary sequel to the movie full of scantly clad muscular men killing each other in slow motion, and despite all this it's the women that carry this movie.

Director Noam Murro does his best Zack Snyder impression here giving us an hour and forty minutes of unimaginative and frankly painful cinematography, the narrative runs alongside the Spartans battle against the Persians in the first film and see's Athenian hero Thermistokles (charisma vacuum Sullivan Stapleton channeling the ghost of Leonidas) fight, flex and give cliched motivational speeches to his rag tag and unmemorable troops as they battle the Persians at sea.

Eva Green however is one of the films saving graces, she plays Artemisia, a Greek born naval commander working for the Persian Empire who sets the bar for 'not to be messed with'. A powerful femme fatale who's merciless and unhinged psyche is portrayed with such subtlety you'd be best treading on egg shells around her. Though I'm not sure if I'm putting her on a pedestal purely because she acts circles around the majority of her co-stars. 

There are plenty of nods to the original film, familiar characters return such as Xerxes, the giant king from the first movie who with little explanation we see how he transforms from a regular man into the 'God King'. Some magical desert water? Really? Lena Headey also returns as Leonidas' wife Queen Gorgo, again showing that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned as she not only cuts her way through hordes of Persians but delivers a speech with far more weight to it than all of Sullivan's combined. Good God I've missed Game Of Thrones.

In defense of the film the visuals as always look great, from the lavish Persian temples and the flaming rubble of Athens you're always reminded that this is very much a Snyder film, gorgeous visuals and brutal murder seems to go hand in hand with everything he touches. Sadly he also co wrote the screenplay and you find yourself shifting in your seat until another battle arrives to spark some entertainment into a franchise that is very much mirroring the battle of Thermopylae with the critics. They even shoehorned in a "this is Sparta" line, if it was anyone but Lena Headey that said it I would have cringed uncontrollably.

Regardless this movie will do well at the box office and there will undoubtedly be a sequel dealing with the end of Xerxes, a villain literally nobody cares about. Wait for the DVD.

I never thought I'd miss Gerard Butler so much.

Robocop

Review Numero Tres!

Oh Dear.

Full disclosure, I really enjoyed the 1980's version by Paul Verhoeven so it's going to be hard for me to be unbiased here.

Take a shot every time you read the word Robot.

Also spoilers.

In the far off future of 2028, Detroit still remains a breeding ground for violence and crime, the powerhouse company Omnicorp has robot soldiers overseas rather than fleshy soldiers and wants to bring them to the states for use as law enforcement. The original film is known for its moral messages about humanity that echoes throughout its entirety, the new one does include some messages. There is a scene early on after we see Samuel L. Jacksons character, a charismatic TV host (and one of the films few saving graces.) speaking with a reporter out in a war zone witnessing how the robotic soldiers handle things. What ensues is a horrific shoot out which mirrors the use of unmanned drones in our society. It's a powerful message but gets dropped almost immediately after the scene ends, a wasted effort really.

Soon enough we meet our hero Alex Murphy (Joel Kinnaman) he's a likable enough tough guy cop who's also a family man, and his relationship with his wife and son is quickly established as being incredibly ordinary. That is until his car explodes due to a bomb planted by a crime boss. Uh oh. Omnicorp jumps on the bandwagon after Raymond Sellers the companies CEO (played menacingly by Michael Keaton/Batman) they need to show the world that robots are A OK, so with consent from Murphy's distraught wife Clara (an emotion she plays for the remainder of the film) they get him suited up and Robocop is born. 

Waking up Murphy meets Dr Norton (Gary Oldman) a compassionate scientist at Omnicorp who created Robocop and is at odds with Raymond Sellers. slowly Murphy realizes he can't move and see's himself in the classic chrome suit, on further asking to see what's left of him the suit pulls away and both Murphy and the audience realize he's now nothing more than a face, brain, a pair of lungs and a right hand? This scene would have been great if it wasn't for the hand, I get where they're coming from, on one side he's still a human with a conscience and on the other he's the metallic and iron hand of the law but the one human hand makes him look comical, and it's without a doubt impractical. Would you punch a washing machine with your hand? Same basic concept considering he fights predominantly giant robots. 

Another interesting deviation from the original is that Murphy retains his humanity from the get go, he even has a flip up visor for his face as apposed to the bolted on one (a monumental scene in the 80's version) between awkwardly trying to remain a family man despite the leash put on him by Omnicorp we get some of the better moments of the film, Rick Mattox (Jackie Earle Haley) plays a generic douche bag who puts Murphy through his paces in training exercises, we see through the robot visor how Robocop fights crime using the power of trigonometry and an overuse of the colour red. 

I paint a bad picture but it surprised me how much better it was than I had imagined. I mean the new black suit is cool right? That isn't to say this is something to immediately go out and see, while not being an awful film it does drag along slowly and is laden with one dimensional (some would say robotic) characters who you feel nothing towards. We live in hope that the trend of rebooting classic 80's movies ends here. 

I'm looking at you Die Hard.

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Review Numero Dos!

I'll be honest, there's probably going to be a few spoilers here. Ye be warned.

Quirky, eccentric and effortlessly charming, The Grand Budapest Hotel is another great stride in Wes Anderson's career, the simple tale of a larger than life concierge and his loyal bell boy will captivate and delight you.

The film begins in the fictional European republic of Zubrowska, where we meet our eloquent narrator simply known as "The Author" (represented at two points in his life by F. Murray Abraham and Jude law respectively)  he tells us of his trip to the hotel in the sixties and adds that the once illustrious building has fallen onto hard times as the result of war. We are shortly introduced to the aloof and mysterious proprietor who after a polite back and forth between himself and the author begins to speak about his life.

This hurtles us back to the thirties where Zero Moustafa (played by newcomer and breakout star Tony Revolori) begins his career as a bell boy, without spoiling too much Zero is our deadpan hero who strides loyally besides the larger than life concierge of the hotel, Gustave H (played by Ralph Fiennes who you can tell is having far too much fun with the part). He is a whimsical, romantic poetry reciting ponce with a penchant for women, notably rich elderly women with blonde hair. While not much is ever revealed about Gustave his camp country gentleman persona is often stripped away at moments of crisis to reveal the foul mouthed impatient bastard he really is, and makes him all the more likable. The Don Quixote and Sancho style duo are very much the heart of the piece.

 At this point the death of an old acquaintance, Gustave and his loyal lobby boy are thrust into a surreal little adventure involving a prison break, some bobsledding in the mountains and a hotel shootout over a priceless painting left for him in the will (and maybe a little more) much to the dismay of the spurned son, Dmitri Desgoffe-und-Taxis (Adrien Brody playing a sociopath with Robert Smith hair) who wants back what's his and Gustave dead. Along the way you have all the usual Wes Anderson players alongside a smorgasbord of cameos each bringing their own unique flavour to the endearing picture.

The film is ripe with tonal changes in both colour and mood, the hotel itself is as grandiose and colourful as its owner and later changes to a darker tone when the keys are passed on to Zero. Full to the brim with heart and hilarity, there are so many small blink and you'll miss it gags you'll have to watch a few times to catch them all adding to its replay value and despite catching yourself grinning from ear to ear the narrative is so delicate and subtle when tragedy reaches our characters you find yourself genuinely caring, something I think is rare in a lot of films lately. 

My only issue? Needs more Bill Murray.

 I really should start reviewing worse films.
In conclusion The Grand Budapest Hotel is a fast paced romp with razor sharp wit and a style all of its own. It should be a surprise to no one when this becomes a cult classic that will be up there with Withnail and I.

So I'm new to all this, also Dallas Buyers Club.

Hello there denizen of the internet. 

Through some down the rabbit hole style Google adventure you've arrived at a blog my significant other coerced me to start writing, sorry to hear that.
If you're still with me then make yourself comfy and I'll try make this modest, avoid being pretentious and if I may attempt it, some humor. 

Review Numero Uno!

Dallas Buyers Club? I'll try and give humor a wide berth then. Also Spoilers!
Dallas Buyers Club brings us into the tragic real life story of AIDS victim Ron Woodruff (portrayed by Matthew McConaughey in his most human role to date.) Set in Dallas during the mid 1980's at the height of the AIDS and HIV scare. Right from the get go we're introduced to Ron and the self destructive and hedonistic lifestyle he indulges himself in, from swindling punters at the rodeo and doing all the sex, drugs sans rock and roll available to him he languishes with his white collar co-workers trying to make ends meet. As a surprise to nobody he's also revealed to be homophobic, all the more ironic when he finds himself diagnosed with HIV and shunned by his like-minded friends. 

In the hospital we find our two other main roles, Ron meets Eve Saks (Jennifer Garner) a doctor who tells him about the experimental new drug called AZT that won't cure him but could prolong his life, however AZT is only in clinical trials. In a state of panic Ron coerces a janitor to hook him up with the drug and finds his condition worsening due to the cocaine he's also taking, don't do drugs kids. 

Here we meet the films scene stealing drama queen Rayon (portrayed by 30 Seconds To Mars front-man Jared Leto who doesn't so much act but embodies the character) Rayon is a headstrong HIV positive transgender woman who attempts to befriend Ron much to his dismay, a well written interaction between the two takes place when the two play cards and converse about what they can really bond with, their disease and money. This marks the beginning of Ron's development and learning to accept that he has to play the hand he's dealt, the macabre Bonnie and Clyde quickly establish the titles Dallas Buyers Club through hard work, ingenuity and some drug smuggling over the border. 

The film uniquely captures the individual characters struggles and as Ron frequently blacks out we go with him, both unaware as to what transpires as the screen cuts to black after a high pitched squealing. As well as the obvious message of raising awareness about HIV there is also two other sub messages that ring clear, the pharmaceutical companies and the FDA are presented to be uncaring towards the plight of our leads, there is a firm undertone of money being in the medicine and not the cure. 

Maybe it is just me but I felt the film was also trying to convey a message of acceptance, we see his original friends initially back away from him in fear like he's toxic and essentially drive him away from his home, and Ron slowly progressing into a better man and finds a family in the very people he persecuted.

My only gripe with the film happens to be Jennifer Garners doctor character, not to take anything away from Jennifer Garner but it seems more could have been done with her, yes her character progresses and acts as the yin to the FDA's yang within the medical parts but  she falls ultimately short of McConaughey and Leto's performances.

All in all this a film that's message carries weight, you'd be hard pressed not to walk away from this and forget it within the hour, it's a movie that ultimately teaches you (and yes it's a cliche, sue me) that you really start living at the moment you realise you're clock is ticking.

A solid 5 out of 5 and if you have the time I'd recommend giving the Elton John AIDS Foundation a look and maybe a few pennies you've got going spare.